I Tolerate You

“If there’s a price for rotten judgment,
I guess I’ve already won that.
No man is worth the aggravation.
It’s ancient history;
Been there, done that.”

We were all freshmen.
We were just guppies.
In the Journalism Society,
We were the so-called babies.
 
I honestly did not bother
To create a bond with anyone.
College was an in-and-out thing for me—
Thinking I was in it just for the fun.
 
They say high school friends
Are the ones you keep till you grow.
They must have lied because
I met you three years ago.

“Who’d you think you’re kiddin’?
He’s the earth and heaven to ya.
Tried to keep it hidden?
Honey, we can see right through you.
Girl, ya can’t conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you’re thinking of.”
 
The one time we both sang a song,
That 16 year olds weren’t supposed to know,
Was the first time in my college life
My social interest actually showed.
 
Given that one simple memory,
You named my car after Hercules.
To be honest, I see the two of us
As Pain and Panic in the movie.
The two are relevant,
But far from being the same.
Yet they still play together,
Trying to win life’s little game.
 
It is amazing how two opposite worlds
Intersected with just one Disney movie.
It is incredible how make-up and fashion
Could collide with plat-formers and RPG.
 
You were this black barbie doll;
This perfectly moulded daughter-of-a-soldier.
A girl so innocent;
So prim and proper.
 
I was a dude,
Mistakenly made with a “baby-holder”.
The only make up I ever wore
Was black eye liner.
 
You have a God.
I have a belief.
They say your god sent you
To take care of me.
 
When that one song somewhat connected us,
I thought to myself,
“Why does this so-called God keep
Giving me people who are not me?”

“I thought my heart had learned its lesson—
It feels so good when you start out.
My head is screaming get a grip, girl.
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out.”
 
But you became another sister to me—
Another angel that kept the demons tamed.
Another pain-in-the-ass,
That could keep me insanely sane.
 
We were partners in crime.
We would watch both Filipino
And horror films together.
We even made a game called
The bucket-challenge—
Where we’d eat a shit load
Of unhealthy oil and fat.
 
I can’t say what goes better with your eyes,
Or if the blush-coat is even,
Or what matches your skirt.
One thing’s for sure,
Even though we have no more Math units,
I will always help you with your Math homework!
 
The night you ran away?
I’m sorry for that fight.
But dude, stop being so stupid.
Me plus ‘worrying’ isn’t a pretty sight.

“You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling.
Baby, we’re not buying.
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up,
When ya gonna own up,
That ya got, got, got it bad.”
 
You’ve seen me in every possible aspect,
Except being naked, and drunk.
You’ve seen me in love, in anger,
In sadness, in sorrow, in happiness,
In indifference, in strength, in weakness.
 
And I was never the type of person
Who would know how to be mushy.
You could cry me a river,
And the mushiest I’d get is giving you beer.
 
But have I said thank you?
Thank you, my dear.
 
I haven’t been the best friend.
I’ve left you in times you needed me the most.
I know I have my lapses, dear.
And to be honest,
I can’t really explain this chaos.
I have no excuse for the gaps you see,
But I’m sorry you had to bear with me.

“No chance, no way,
I won’t say it, no, no.
Give up, give in;
Check the grin you’re in love.
This scene won’t play,
I won’t say I’m in love.
You’re doin’ flips read our lips
You’re in love.”
 
Now we’re juniors.
Three years under the color blue.
I’m guessing if I had a cake,
It would say “I tolerate you.”
 
Nevertheless, I know
I haven’t been around lately.
I missed a lot of shots.
I know I’ve even been a bully.
And I may not show it,
No one may see it,
You may not feel it,
But Batman misses you…
A lot.
 
I’ve been through so much.
And you know me,
I never want to be a burden.
So please just smile for me.
All I need is to know
You’re not gonna leave so sudden.

“You’re way off base
I won’t say it.
She won’t say she’s in love.
Get off my case,
I won’t say it
Girl, don’t be proud—
It’s O.K. you’re in love.
At least out loud,
I won’t say I’m in love”
 
Three semesters left,
Am I running out of time
To pay up for your patience?
If we were to go our own ways,
I wish you all the happiness,
And the best-est of best.
You know that right?
I will always root for you.
I will always want what’s good for you.
You’re this clumsy little girl
I will always watch over.
I’m the ninja behind you.
 
Three semesters left—
Hopefully then,
You’ll walk in your heels; and
Maybe I’ll walk in my flats?
And after that diploma,
How about Iced green tea at Starbucks again?

And by the way,
I am in love, my friend.