Joseph is a very private guy. He sometimes even finds discomfort when stangers ask him random questions.

We were in Vancouver and we were on the train when an adorable, elderly man asked us where the train was headed. He was quick to dismiss him, and I found his behavior extremely rude.

We sat down. Mad and annoyed, I told him what he did was not okay. I told him, “What if that was your father and someone was being rude to him? How would you feel? He was just asking a question, not robbing you…”

We spent the rest of the train ride in silence. But when we were about to get off the train ride, to my awe, he approached the old man and he said sorry to him. After that, he apologized to me and thanked me for pointing it out.

I never expected him to do that. At best, I just expected him to not repeat his rude behavior. But what he did made me so happy, and relieved, and reassured.

People make mistakes, especially when they’re tired. But how your partner responds to criticism will always reflect how well she/he listens to you and how much she/he values your values.

Find someone who is willing to learn, and admit mistakes. Someone who is humble and will listen, and will actually do something when they say sorry. Find a partner who can not only appreciate your culture and values, but also learn from it. Someone who can also make you happy, relieved, and reassured.