Smart Things My Parents Did

Lots of our peers are starting families and getting kids now. I’m not a parent, but here are smart things that my parents planted in us, or for us, since we were very young that helped our family through the years:

1. Build a good credit score. I’m in my late 20s but I still had to hold my mom’s hand when we applied for a loan, and have her as a guarantor so we actually get approved. Her clean record with banks made it easier for us to apply and get approved.
2. Travel internationally, in countries that require visas. If you keep a good credit score, it’s easier for you and your family to obtain visas when traveling, especially if financial documents are required in visa applications. My mom traveled so much, and has never gotten a visa rejection before and that made it easier for her children to apply and build a good travel history; hence, it is now easier for me to apply for visas and travel around as an adult. You can go to www.passportindex.org/passport/philippines/ to find out which countries require Filipinos to apply for visas.
3. Teach your kids to avoid comparing with their siblings or with anyone. My sister was always an honour student growing up, and despite our school and peers always comparing us, she never held it against me– not once. Especially today, my sister and I’s bond is stronger, because it was never a practice in our household to compare.
4. Sense of urgency and/or social responsibility. One thing that came out of my mom’s impatience was our sense of urgency. It was important for her that we understand the importance of being responsible and accountable, and to be wary of the people around us. Are they waiting for us? Do it quicker. Are we behind on payments? Budget better. Is your friend going to reach home safely while commuting? Drive them home. These simple values are what make us decent human beings.
5. Coach your kids in real-life scenarios. My mom would always coach me with job interviews, and in making decisions about my life, my finances. You don’t have to know the answers all the time as parents, but you can learn along the way too. It’s nice to know that your kids can run to you, their parents, for help instead of strangers.
6. Empower curiosity. I was a very curious child, and still am a curious adult, and that’s where my career stems from. Neither of my parents had a problem with our curiosity (unless it was something illegal). I questioned religion, I questioned the schools I went to, I questioned the choices made in my company. But because I asked questions, and our questions weren’t shunned, it was easier for me to be open-minded and grow as an individual.
7. Empathy and gratitude. Both my parents did not come from rich families, and they made damn well sure their children didn’t have to go through the same hardships; and even if we did, my mom made sure we, as kids, never had to feel it. And with their accomplishments, came empathy and gratitude. “Yung iba walang pangkain (others don’t even have money for food).” It became an internet joke that parents would always use this line, but nonetheless, it is 100% true. They taught us the value of money, the value of understanding other’s hardships, the value of appreciating your current accomplishments instead of complaining… These values are what drive me to be kinder.
8. Your children go first. As a human, you’re allowed to feel exhausted and lost; but as a parent, your children should always come first. In every decision my mom has done, she always has us and our wellbeing in mind. The fact that I know that, and I saw that, and I felt that while growing up is what makes me value and love my parents more as an adult. And this is also why I have very high expectations for myself IF I were to become a parent.